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03:13pm 08/06/2011

<div style="position:relative;width:400px;height:400px;"><a href=""><img width="400" alt="Без названия" src="" title="Без названия" height="400" border="0" force="1" /></a></div><br/><small><a href="">Без названия</a> by <a href="">ELENA F</a> featuring <a href="">flat slippers</a></small<div style="position:relative;width:400px;height:400px;"><a href=";id=31376056"><img width="400" alt="Relax in bed" src="" title="Relax in bed" height="400" border="0" force="1" /></a></div><br/><small><a href=";id=31376056">Relax in bed</a> by <a href=";id=2298387">lady delicat</a> featuring <a href="">diamond earrings</a></small></div>

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02:44pm 14/04/2011
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07:15pm 16/01/2011

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07:31pm 14/01/2011
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11:04pm 26/11/2010

 My name is Kaitlin, my parents and close friends call me Kati. If you know my parents please don't read this...

Things you should never admit #1   
10:33pm 06/02/2008

I sometimes take junk mail that i have recieved, throw it up in the air and pretend that it is fanmail. 

Why would people be sending me fanmail you ask? yeah i don't know either...

12:10am 20/11/2007
mood: confused
Dear you Porn
When I first discovered you tube I was ecstatic. I didn’t think that it was possible for all the meaningless, embarrassing junk I was into to be in one place. But it was! And although I loved you tube its policy concerning porn (its not allowed) has always stood in the way of what could have been a perfect relationship. Then you along came, and I fell in love! You were everything I could have dreamed of, it was like you tube only all porn! Youporn you were everything I could want in a video search engine, your raunchy full length sex videos fulfilled my sexual needs while the comment sections made me laugh and kept me coming back for more ( even if I could only read half of the German ones). But then the unthinkable happened, you disabled your comment sections leaving me empty inside, sure the lesbians were still scissoring but without random German people informing me that they would titty fuck the blonde one, how was I to really enjoy it? So this is a letter to you, youporn please enable the comment section again, for me, for us. I don’t think this relationship can survive solely on sexual chemistry, we need something more, we need substance, we need horny opinionated Germans! And if we don’t have them then this relationship is doomed, please consider what I have said. I want this to work, I don’t want to let go…
I need out! for Serious !   
02:29am 02/08/2006
mood: depressed

Only 24 days left in the YC and I couldn’t be happier about that. I feel depressed and in a funk. I think working weird hours has taken its toll on me, I go to sleep at 4am wake up at 12am get ready and work for 8 hours. I feel restless, stifled and trapped which I really hate… I never go out or do anything fun and I really don’t feel like going out or doing anything. I’m bored and going crazy and I need out! However working full time has taught me a valuable lesson! It has taught me that I don’t  ever want to work full time again! The only other logical solution for me is to write a romance novel which involves space ships, time travel and is marketed to over weight women with low self esteem. That way when my book sells millions I will get paid! Then I can wear a fashionable yet unnecessary eye patch and live in Charleston in a huge house on the battery! I can also have my insatiable young Latin love clean my house and make me Shirley temples! Sounds good to me!

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Sean Connery!   
03:17am 27/07/2006
mood: nostalgic

God I love the fucking Highlander! Why you ask? Two words motha fuckas! Sean Connery, mother fucking Sean Connery! Sean Connery is like the original pimp he has had more pussy than cat fancy magazine!  IN other news Gael Garcia Bernal is so hott and sexy he makes me want to do naughty things like play with matches and run with scissors!  I saw a preview for the Science of Sleep when LoFo and I went to see Clerks 2. We were the pretty much the only girls in the theater and I must have an inner frat boy because I thought it was hilarious! Interspecies erotica jokes and all… oh and I am no longer homeless!


I also thought this was funny…

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faking it for vengence!   
02:00am 19/07/2006
mood: amused

I work in a reservation center which is owned by a management company that manages three hotels in Historical Williamsburg. The Reservation center handles reservations made over the phone, packages made on the company’s website, and reservations made on sites like expedia. There is separate Group Sales Department that handles groups that require more than 10 rooms, family reunions, weddings, and school fieldtrips. During the summer Group Sales is not  busy while the reservation center is extremely busy which is why I was shocked when I learned that Group sales was petitioning for the Reservation Center to book groups with 21 rooms and under (basically Group Sales wanted the summer off). Thus began a war in which the reservationists won! In response Group sales prank called the beloved reservationists manager for 20 min on our busiest weekend. So now it was on! A week earlier my coworkers and I in the reservation center had discovered H(who works in Group Sales) myspace page! On H’s myspace page she had posted pictures of herself doing backbends in a hot pink bikini (which included an unnecessary and unfashionable belt) and many other pictures which featured her low self esteem and high levels of skankitude! So we hatched a plan, we made our own myspace page centered around  pics of a bleach blonde skank in hot pants that looked more like a belt then a pair of pants. We took her pics (including a collage of pictures of her ass) and created Britney the bisexual. Our plan is to seduce H then print out all our conversations and mail it to her at work anonymously! in the mean time we needed friends and we got them!


Its unbelievable how many friends a half naked skank can acquire in a weeks time. Here are some of the messages that Britney has received from people who randomly found Britney online!


Damn girl you got me all moist lookin at cha page... im kinda new to tha area and lookin fa some friends...hit me up if you please....


hey there! My name is jen and I just wanted to say that u are fucking hott! My husband would definatley wanna see me and you go at it...


I wanna lick your pussy until you cry out



wuz good ma im diggin ya so holla at me when u get da chance iight



Needless to say its been highly entertaining thus far!

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03:14am 11/07/2006

Things that are true


-         Roger Federer won Wimbledon! Bitches

-         I luv Kylie Minogue like a fat kid loves cake

-         Super aids is not a positive thing

-         There is a one armed stripper that works in a strip joint in NN

-         Jesus DOES’T love me

-         If my mother says "nail it down" one more time I am going to kill myself




(Conversation with a coworker  on my refusal to eat the other half of my PB&J sandwich)


Coworker-There are millions of children in China who would love to eat the sandwich

                 You just threw away you know…  

Me- yeah well there are millions of couples who would love to

            To have one of the children they throw away in China


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Roger Federer is my baby's daddy!   
02:47am 08/07/2006
mood: indescribable

Wimbledon is coming to a close and its come down to Feder and Nadal in the final (women's final is dead to me since Sharapova and Clisters were knocked out in the semis) I hope federer wins! Nadal gets on my nerves and I don't think he deserves to be #1. And anyways I luv Roger even though he isn't the hottest tennis player and he cries a lot and his hair used to be exceptionally atrocious! I don't care I want to make sweet luv to him and then give birth to a child whose appearance in the universe will rival in importance the birth of Jesus Christ and Clay Aiken. I love Roger I want to have his baby.... that is all!

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because i forgot to upload topless pics of myself...   
10:03pm 25/06/2006
mood: disappointed

I know the gossip surrounding my sudden and long departure from LJ has caused many of you concern, anxiety, sleepless nights, weight loss and possibly death… Well I am here to set the record straight! No I did not make a pilgrimage to Namibia to pay my respects to the messiah baby Brangelina (although I do have a pilgrimage in the works). No I did not forsake LJ, nor have I started a myspace account where I display pictures of myself doing backbends in bikinis and panties. And lastly , NO! I have not died! at least not technically although working full time has robbed me of my energy and soul and has replaced my heart with cold impregnable stone! I must say I have attempted to update several times but every time I find myself unable to, I don’t know…it has just been so hard for some reason and then the longer I stay away the harder it is to get back into it ! And so hopefully that will explain why this post sucks! Anyways I have wanted to update several times and even had topics picked out! I was planning on posting pics of my trip to Sandybottom to walk Marley, I planned on explaining why Mike’s Hard Lemonade is only for chicks and child molesters, and I even started writing a post on why people who use smiley faces in conversations on aim annoy me. Anyways here is what I have been up to in my absence….


Work, orientation, father’s day =nacho libre, walking Marley, shopping, movies, reading, music, spending all my money and having nothing to show for it, eating junk food, torturing girl at work who has pictures of herself in a bikini doing backbends posted on myspace, and finally rough, sweaty, toothless lesbian sex.

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10:47am 24/06/2006

Employed! Um Jealous?   
11:42pm 16/05/2006
mood: i hate myself!

Apparently the 1.5 years I spent slaving away at KMGC was enough to appease the Retail Gods and I have been allowed to move on to greener pastures. Ok so I start my new job tomorrow, and quite frankly I am exited to be making some money. Thanx to mommy I have found a job that meets all my job requirements and then some ok this is m job. 
- I am getting $7.25 an hour, which is better than what I was getting at KMGC 
- I will just be taking reservations over the phone so no annoying customers in person!
- I only have to answer phones so in between customers I will be aloud to read magazines, books and do other shit 
- I can wear whatever I want because I just have to answer phones, see ya latter uniform 
- its in Williamsburg so that means a 20 mile drive but the drive is actually pretty nice 
- I will be working full time, so this chica will be getting paid!
I hate myself today! All the posts I write leave me wanting…

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Random Thoughts on Tits at 2:30 am   
02:32am 16/05/2006

Why do guys hate tall girls? Why do guys like little midget babies with huge jugs? I don't understand! Small breasts are so much better! And i would think that a guy would rather have a girl with small breasts and long flexible legs as opposed to a chick with huge utters and short little legs! Long legs are so much more useful... and breasts! What can you really do with breasts? I mean just grab on them and bounce them around a little? Huge tits are like panda bears... just these huge blobs of fat that just sit there and don't really do anything and yet for some odd reason people think they are soooooo fucking great! Huge breasts suck! They aren't even breasts... they are utters! Utters and the men who love them suck! They suck! Damn i am sexually frustrated and tired… sleep now!

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Horny and Stupid!   
01:18am 16/05/2006
mood: tired

I wrote this at 2am!
It has been my experience that people either think i am a complete moron or a total genius. I think this all makes sense if you look at my history in high school... In late middle school, early high school i ran with a pretty popular crowd and i was pretty friendly with people from other popular cliques. I was the smart one in the group which isn't saying a lot cause the girls i ran with were stupid whores... but anyways through some events (getting caught skipping school, half-assed attempts to run away, dropping my advanced classes, some self destructive behavior, and eventually therapy and meds)  i realized that A) if you hate your friends then they probably aren't really ur friends B) I am in no way pretty enough to get by on my looks so i had better take my education seriously, and C) i didn't want to be a skanky, stupid whore like my friends.

I ditched my friends and didn't really try to find another group,... i did however stop wearing my blue contacts and opted for glasses, i also signed back up for advanced classes and i stopped talking( i just sat in class, paid attention and got good grades). The fact that i was quiet and only talked to answer questions combined with the fact that i wore glasses prompted people to believe that i was really smart while the other people. The people who would whisper behind my back "Kaitlin used to be so popular, what happened?” knew i was only moderately bright and the people who had science classes with me most likely thought i was a bimbo...

I remember my 11th grade psychology teacher telling us about her experience with high school friendships "basically i was friends with a bunch of girls that i had classes with and we would eat lunch together and talk about the funny things that happened in class and we would go out and talk about things that had happened in class, but other than that we really had nothing in common so after we stopped having classes together we stopped being friends" i remember thinking that what she had said was really true and i still think its true!

ANYWAYS! This is making no sense let’s get back on course

Ok well the point is i consider myself a pretty smart person... Since going away to school i have learned a lot but i haven’t had time for reading books other than the assigned reading, i haven’t seen a zillion movies that i want to see, and i have been abstaining from buying music because it’s an expensive habit for me. I feel so out of the loop and stupid... And at the same time i am so horny it’s indecent! the problem is i am to lazy and uninspired to masturbate... i whacked off like 6 times last Wednesday and haven’t mustered up the effort to rub one out since! Its times like this that i wish i could have a boyfriend... only in a shameful state of lustful driven madness do i fool myself into believing that having someone to play "just the tip" with would be worth all the bullshit and maintenance of having a boyfriend. This has a horrible confusing post that once again didn't come out as i envisioned... I need to stop writing these things at 2am my mind isn't functioning at its best...

Reasons Why I Suck!   
01:28am 13/05/2006
mood: indifferent
Ok here are the reasons i suck
- I say things like "coolness", "grossness", "sweetness", "hella-foxy", "hobra", "wat the frick"
- I am the pickiest eater in the world, i am aware this habit is annoying but the majority of foods seem gross to me...
- I’m emotionally repressed
- I’m in Christianity for the holidays
- I don't believe in god but i am afraid that if i admit that then god will be mad at me...? (Reference the women are insane post)
- I am afraid of the dark, spiders, magicians, Michael Jackson, and uber religious ppl
- I think everyone is in love with me
- I hate baseball
- I am the most stubborn person alive.
- About 75% of all of the friends i have ever had were crack heads and i have never done drugs
- I am jealous of ppl who are taller than me and i make fun of people who are shorter than me
- watching Grease makes me want to shoot myself
- I would rather masturbate than hang out with my friends
- I go to movies i know i will hate just to make fun of them
- I can't drive and i never know the names of any streets
- I am really tired, this post sucks! How come whenever i write i always come away disappointed with the outcome. It’s like baking a cake or drawing a picture, you have a vision in your head and then it turns out so different its disappointing! Aim low mofos
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